Knitting is NOT a satisfying substitute for smoking.

I quit smoking today, but i am fine. Really, that squirrel deserved to die anyway. Sorry that was a horrible joke, but i am as of today not responsible for my actions for the next few days. I know i will get fat, i know i will bite the head off anyone who as much as try to make a joke at my expense, but i also know that i will save money. Lots of money, maybe even enough for me to move back to London soon.
Anyway, here are some of the pictures from London this weekend:


I have tried for a while now to find something fitting, something nice and funny to write as a caption for this picture. But sometimes it is impossible to find the right words and to put them down in a way that will make you understand the mixture of nervousness and giddiness i felt when i met the author i admire the most in the whole world. So i won't do it, I'll just leave the picture to fend for itself.



This one is quite nice, it is the view from the lawn where the Free Hugs event happened. Not the most exciting picture of the year, but i like the colours.




A blue guitar player. Do i really need to explain?



Me, Sarah and Jean-Marc trying to make the world a better place. I think it works, i really do.



Amos looking very... cheap? Heehee^^


Well, that's it for now folks. I have some more pictures, but nothing interesting. Am waiting to get a few better ones from Couchsurfing.org


Holy kangaroo poop i need a cigarette! But no, i shall be strong and resist. I shall go to bed and dream about Russell Brand, nothing PG rated of course.

Lets not talk about cannibalism.

As the self appointed Village Idiot i sometimes find it hard to describe things that are larger than life, but i will give it a go.


* I met a horse (or as some people like to call it, 'a ferret').

* I saw a blue man playing the guitar.

* I almost participated in a very bad rap music video.

* I hugged more people then the entire cast from the Harry Potter movies has ever hugged (i think).

* A minibus load of very intensely cheerful Christians tried to save my soul. It didn't work, but i accepted the tea and just hope it didn't secretly baptize me.

* I lent my scarf to a German girl and very nearly forgot about it.

* I found out that i love sushi.

* I got lost.

* Twice.

* I walked so much that my feet looks funny now. The color is all wrong.

* I accidentally ended up bringing only purple clothes with me. Different shades of purple. Urgh.

* I broke my nail and it really hurts, so that's not just an urban legend. It really is quite traumatic.

* I Couchsurfed with a guy who tried to pole dance with a loaf of bread on the train, it is still a mystery to me how the owner of the bread didn't notice it being raped.

* I found out that asking for directions makes you even more late because everyone really wants to help you. Especially the people who have no idea of where you are going love to make suggestions and give personal opinions.

* The London Eye is really quite big.

* Apparently i look Irish.

* And like a student.

* And sometimes even German.

* I might have landed myself a volunteer job as a Norwegian translator with the Open Right group in London. If they ever need one.

* Oh, and i had a brief conversation with Neil Gaiman. (see, did you notice how indifferent i managed to sound about it? I am really quite the actress. Truth be told i am still walking on sunshine and parents who never listen to their children).

More will be written about all this, right now i need to rest, digest and watch 'Merlin'. But tomorrow, tomorrow i shall present you with magnificent descriptions, pictures, vivid images will haunt your brain after you hungrily devour and cherish my artistic superiority and creative skills, like a thirsty fish, a caged bird with pantaloons, a dyslectic raccoon in a stationary shop in Machu Picchu suddenly realizing that he wants to fight crime for a living!

Tomorrow i shall change your life forever. (or maybe just add some pictures and captions).

Butterfly overload.

I am a sucker (no pun intended) for a good vampire series, and Moonlight is very good. Already it has managed to gather a huge group of devoted fans, it can almost be considered a cult series already even though it is quite new.
So naturally it has been canceled. I haven't seen all the episodes yet, so I'm only hoping that the last episode doesn't end in a cliffhanger. I'm sure it will though, typical. And a lot of unanswered questions, secrets, character developments etc.
Just like Firefly, it is really annoying. How come they haven't canceled Lost yet then? They are on their fourth season now, and seriously, is ANYONE watching it anymore?

Oh, and I've developed a new diet plan. For other, crazier people that is, not for me. I like to call it: The Book Diet, Eat Your Words or Eat What You Read!

To follow the diet you read a book, any book (not a cookbook). Every time one of the characters eat something you are allowed to eat the same thing. And that is all you are allowed to eat. If you would like to loose weight really quickly all you have to do is eat only what the protagonist is eating, nothing else.

Choose your book wisely, I've already had some fun with this and made a list of books you really shouldn't be reading during the diet:

* Vampire books, do i even have to explain that for you?

* Down and out in Paris and London, unless you enjoy eating white bread with margarine and tea or coffee every other minute.

* Alice in Wonderland.

* Charlie and the chocolate factory, for obvious reasons.

* Babycakes, short story. Unless you think cannibalism is the next, natural step in evolution.

* Any sort of Satanist or cult biography, golly they eat some weird shit!

* The Argos catalog, unless you have a death wish.

* Flowers in the attic. You'd have to eat lots of sweets and fried chicken, then starve yourself for two weeks and end the whole thing by ALMOST eating a dead mouse. Raw.

* The book I'm currently writing. All you'd be able to eat and drink then is two bananas, tea and lots of vodka.


Tomorrow I'm going to London, and when i return i expect to have all sorts of weird and exciting things to blog about. If i don't it means that somewhere, somehow i did something wrong.

Cat flap stories.

The cat flap's gone, and has been for a while. We didn't really notice in the beginning because it was summer and the weather was hot. Now we notice, but we acclimatize. We have even found it quite useful at times, having a hole in the door.
Every morning one of us put our foot out to check the temperature, it's brilliant, we don't even have to go outside to know what to wear. But it is cold, so today i taped a plastic bag over it, just to shut out the freezing wind.

The cat was not amused, we are currently not on speaking terms.

One thing i know for sure though, i am not going out tonight, even if it is Friday. This is me, backward rebelling. I simply cannot spend any money this week, i have to save up for next weekend.
And the weekend after that if i want to celebrate Halloween in London like last year.
I invited everyone on my Facebook list.
This far two have said yes, me and a bloke who already lives in London. It's gonna be wild.......


London, Bristol or Tokyo?


R.

Words from a notebook.

Lately I've been going for a walk every evening, just to think and write down small ideas and thoughts. I have this neat little orange book that fits perfectly in my coat pocket.
I decided to write down my latest ramblings here, directly transferred from the first pages in my notebook.
It's crazy stuff, not to be taken seriously. Unless you want to have that kind of opinion of me.

Enjoy!

Behind the desk he sits.
Maybe naked.
But you don't know that, do you?
Because you can't see him.
I want to meet the radio people.
I wonder, are they good listeners?


Behind the desk he sits.
Fully dressed.
But you already knew that, didn't you?
Because you can see him.
He's on TV, everyone can see him.
But he can't see you.
He must be secretly terrified.

He is standing in the spotlight.
All alone and fully dressed.
Can one really be more naked?
One day the laughter will die.
Maybe tomorrow.
The joke's on him.

Words can change your life.
It will change your life.
The first time i heard someone say shrubbery
I knew i was going to England.
How could i not move to a place
Where shrubbery and mittens are actual words?

Where you can say butterscotch, lark, blimey and whimsical as much as you like.

It's wonderful, it really is.

And it's not like anyone comes here for the weather.



When i listen to Yann Tiersen i always think of Paris and wine.
When i drink wine it reminds me of The London Eye.
The London Eye makes me think of Christopher Eccleston.
Christopher Ecclesten makes me think about leather jackets.
Leather jackets reminds me of Neil Gaiman.
Neil Gaiman makes my brain morph into porridge.
This all makes sense in my life.

So please do tell me, why am i always reminded of Ricky Gervais when i boil eggs??

To me real love is always unrequited.
The minute i know i can have him
It turns out my soul shattering love for him
Was nothing more then a crush and a bit of alcohol.
Those two mixed together helps increase the population.
That's something they never teach you in school.

I remember when i cleared out my room after graduating from boarding school.
I found three panties that weren't mine.
Now that's a background story I'd like to hear.

I exploded the dryer today
Apparently it doesn't do shoes.
Isn't that kind of speciest?

An old man in Coop told me i looked like an actress.
Is that what they call smiling these days?

Everytime i'm drunk i tell people that i only eat fruit.
I have no idea why because it isn't true.

Sell me a coat.

Autumn is coming, like a confused frog jumping backwards and forwards. One day it's hot and the next you can't even look out the window without wearing woolen socks.
I answered the phone with a German accent today, and i know from experience that my German accent is quite good, so when they hung up on me i was a bit miffed. Are people still bearing grudges? The next time someone tries to call me I'll try out the grandmother impression that includes a lot of talk about the weather, dinner, the walk i took yesterday and what i had for breakfast eight days ago.
One day i might end up owing my grandmother, she is my best impression. My only i think, i haven't tried anyone else. Except for the king of Norway, but anyone can do him (not 'do' him do him, the Queen wouldn't appreciate that. Unless.. No).

Some people would be filthy rich if they had copyright on their voice.


Moving along now.

The flowers in my window look suicidal. But then again, so would i be if i had to look at the man across the street practically fornicate with his car on a daily basis. Does that man ever leave his driveway??

Oh, and good news (not that you care) about the whole Neil Gaiman issue that when i come to think of it i haven't even written about that yet... I'll do it now!

I phoned Blackwell yesterday. Blackwell told me that the last ticket for Mr.G's reading was sold literally minutes before i called. That made me sad enough to eat peanut butter, something i am trying to stay away from since i started my diet.

But then all of a sudden i remembered having read something earlier, weeks ago actually, so i looked it up again. And there is was, the solution of all my problems! He is doing a Open Rights talk on the 24th of October, and i am going!
I got the ticket, one of the last ones, and emailed the guy who's arranging the whole thing. Why? To persuade him into having a 'magic password' at the entrance of course! And he turned out to be a guy with a sense of humor, so now we have a password and everyone is happy. Or i am at least.
And Jonathan Ross. I think. He should be, the man is loaded!

I won't write the password here, that would be silly of me. Then anyone could enter.

So instead of standing in queue with 600 people in a church, i get to sit down with a few people in a room and listen to his amazing voice talking about piracy versus obscurity before going upstairs to a private bar for drinks.
And thanks to Couchsurfing i have found somewhere to stay that weekend. And any guy who actually answer a message titled 'About that gerbil', is someone I'd like to meet in person.


I am going now, to watch weird stuff on Youtube and eat gum (because I'm on that diet).


R.

Teach me how to sing like you!

Once again the title is completely out of context, just another quote from Whose line?

This will be a short post, i don't really have anything to write about.. I have found a new favorite film though, a very strange one. It's called 'Moon child' and is written by Japanese rock star Gackt, who also stars in it. HYDE, another Japanese musician (my pers. favorite) stars beside him. It is a, um.. futuristic vampire gangster love story.
I know what you're thinking 'oh no, not another one!' But this one's special^^
It's amazing, heartbreaking and funny and just... And the music! The music! Gawd, just see it.

You can see it online for free at www.tv-links.eu

I don't know if that site is legal, and I'd rather not find out since i am quite fond of it.

Other then that my life is uneventful. No really, nothing has happened. What did you expect? I live in Bulford.

What did i do to deserve this??

It's official, i FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!

I, stupid as i am, decided to save some money by not going to the Dresden Dolls concert, because i wanted to go and see Neil Gaiman instead. Well, guess what? Guess who was at the concert i deliberately missed yesterday?

Yeah, that's right, NEIL FRIKKIN' GAIMAN!!! He did the introduction and was a back up singer and tambourine player, and apparently the concert was brilliant, they played 'I google you'...

This is just one of those things that i am going to regret for the rest of my life.
I have to get away from this village life, it is slowly turning me into a narrow minded, boring person who actually worry about trivial things like economy and a smelly garden (long story).

I need to DO something with my life, this was really a wake up call, i have to stop saying no to things. In a twisted and bizarre way me missing out on the concert of a lifetime might have been a good thing. It made me realize how much i have been missing out on things. It makes me feel like I'm just wasting away here in my room with my bloody laptop with my bloody book (this is one of my 'i hate my writing' days)...

I need to move, and i need to move to a big city where stuff happens, where i can actually do exciting things and be a part of things that holds an interest to me, not just reading about it on another persons blog the next day.

I am really pissed off now. Really pissed off.

Lately it seems like i have been going through life just meeting the wrong people in the wrong places at the wrong time.

I think i need to take a long, calming walk to the graveyard and back. I need to listen to Ben Folds and come to terms with being left hanging on the outside looking in on everything exciting without being able to participate.

And today i really don't need a hug. I hate people today.

Goodbye cruel world.

Ps, look at this brilliant home video of Amanda in her underwear, serenading Neil and playing her ukulele:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcHqg_AXeqA

Absolutely nothing and a bit about Ben Folds.

I nearly drowned in the shower today. I was singing and kind of turned my head in the wrong angle with my mouth open.. You had to be there, but i'm glad you weren't.

I have also decided to start eating more fruit, beginning today. I made a fruit salad and ate it, and now it feels like i am about to explode. But i'm sure it is a good sign, after all fruit is healthy.

Yesterday i was invited to a birthday party in St. Albans. I have never met the birthday girl(s), but i used to go to summer camp with one of the guys. I had a crush on him, everyone did. I expect he invited me for purely geographical reasons (we both live in the UK), but i don't think i will go.

My sentences are very short today, i sound a bit like what i imagine Stephen Hawkins diary would sound like. Not that i would know.


Ben Folds.

And i am in love with Ben Folds voice. And his words, he is a genius i think. Or maybe he's just very good at pretending to be good at doing what he does.

I need a hug.

Fetch me fedora! Quickly!

Lately I've been considering applying for the Mensa home test, just to see if i might qualify for the real, supervised one. I took one test online, it was developed by a Mensa test developer, so the results are not to be taken too seriously, but it was supposed to give a certain idea of what my result would have been on the Stanford-Binet test. To qualify for the membership you need to get a minimum of 132 IQ score on the Binet, or 148 on the Cattell. I got 126, so I'm 6 points under the required minimum..

How do you train your brain when you hate crosswords and Sudoku? Just wondering. A membership in Mensa would have been really cool, and a good thing to have on my CV, especially considering that i failed maths in college..

And they have social events and stuff for clever people, it sounds like a lot of fun! I think I'll just bite my teeth together and start taking quizzes and puzzles etc.

And i mean, six points under isn't that bad, is it? I bet I'll do better next time if i drink a lot of coffee and don't have 'The Jonathan Ross show' on in the background like the last time^^

My nails are really long now, i am actually thinking about getting a manicure, just to see if it's worth it. Pretty little pictures on my nails, i think i like it already!
I want a unicorn on my thumbnail, and a gerbil on my... yeah, maybe not.

Other events in my life:

Have decided not to go to the Amanda Palmer concert, even though i really, really want to.. I just can't afford London twice in one month, and i HAVE to meet Neil Gaiman.

Charlie spent the entire morning pretending to be a cat. The boy's got potential. Don't know what for, but definitely potential for something..

Lately I've watched so much Whose Line that all it takes for me to crack up is someone saying 'I'm Spartacus' (so far this hasn't happened in real life, but if it does I'll tell you [and probably marry the person who said it])

And i think I'm starting to realize who i am.

Saturday morning.

I know what you're thinking, unoriginal title right? Wrong! It's actually a song by Eels, i am listening to it right now, and it is Saturday morning. So there.

Anyway, I've lost my cable, but what else is new? So I'll look for it when i get the feeling back in my legs, and then I'll post some pictures from yesterday. I had a good time, but i shall never drink again, it is simply not worth it. Honestly, it feels like Cirque du Soleil is performing on my forehead.
Oh, found cable. Here are pictures from yesterday:



Me and Iain, one of the nicest guys i've ever met^^



Iain and Josh.



A lot of people.



Iain, Josh and me^^



A balloon. indeed.




I phoned Julie in Russia yesterday, but ran out of calling credit after a few minutes. It was lovely to hear her voice though, but felt weirder then ever to speak in Norwegian. I just can't seem to find the right words anymore.
So instead of sounding like the intellectual i normally sound like when i speak, i end up sounding like a stuttering preschooler with pigtails and a cat named Rainbow. Or something. You know what i mean.

I woke up with the sudden urge to write Haiku, so i did and it is terrible!

I cannot feel my legs
Yet.

My head really hurts
Yep.

The cat is breathing
Loudly.

I feel like dancing yeah
Right.


I don't know if i want to go to London next weekend or not. I want to see Dresden Dolls, sure, but the only person offering to come with me this far is a 69 year old hippie. Which is cool, but i don't have anywhere to stay. I know people in London, but i don't want to stay with them, and the rest of them live with their parents, so...
Ah well, i shall have to wait and see. I am definitely going on Hallows eve though, meeting Neil Gaiman is not an opportunity that presents itself every day, or year for that matter.


My coffee is cold
Again.

So I'll just go and make another one.

Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei!

Pregnant, it's a boy!!

Sure, now I've got your attention! It was just a dream though, but a vivid one. I was living in a very cold castle, a bit like The Snow Queens castle from the 1845 H.C Andersen fairytale (one of my favourites btw). And i was very pregnant, or, the bump went up and down in size all the time.
I knew i was going to have a boy, and i was very pleased and had no financial worries. Castle, remember? I was surrounded by nice people, no one i can remember, just a happy mix of everyone that i know.

The dream was different in the way that i really behaved like me, i didn't do much, i thought a lot about the same kind of things i would have been thinking if i found myself awake and pregnant.
It was kind of boring, not much happened at all really, i was mostly lying on a couch stroking the bump and reading Hop Frog by Poe, something that i suspect strongly resembles real life when that time comes.
When i woke up i felt very confused, i was going to name my boy Dorian Nathaniel. I kind of like that name now!
If i had anything remotely resembling a love life, I'd probably be nervous and take a test, my mothers dreams come true sometimes. But there's no chance in hell that I'm pregnant. Seriously, unless I'm bearing some higher beings holy son.
Maybe i should quit smoking just in case?

Read 'Amethyst child' by Sarah Singleton yesterday, it was very captivating. And based on real beliefs you can read more about the phenomena here:

http://www.thestarchildren.com

Or:

www.indigochild.com

I think it's an intriguing theory not to be taken to seriously. But i was born in 87, so it would explain a lot of my strange personality and alien-ish detachment

Yesterday i went with Charlie to the Collective Worship at his school. Wow, those people really do believe in teaching their children all about Jesus. But they were cute though, and Charlie said his lines very clearly, and very red faced^^

I might go out tonight. Or i might not. I probably will though.