Stepping in vomit.

Yes, you saw the title, but do you want to hear the rest of the story? It wasn't my vomit, but i was my shoes, and someone special was watching. I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when all of a sudden i slipped in something disgusting. It looked a bit like porridge and was all over my shoe.
A lady walked over with her husband and stopped to ask if i was okay, and the husband said something and nodded his head while looking at me all sympathetically. But i couldn't hear them because of my Ipod, and when i turned it off it was to late. So i just nodded and said 'That was disgusting, yeah, thanks,' or something like that.
And they walked off.

I walked off.

I walked.

And walked.

And stopped abruptly when i realized who the nice lady and the sympathetic man had been:

Terry Pratchett and his wife!!!!

Why me, why me?? Can't i meet him just one time without acting like an idiot or stepping in vomit? If he remember me now, it's because of me cursing and dragging my vomit covered foot all over the side walk to clean it.... How lovely, i do love my life.

Time warp!

I am working offline right now, there's no wireless connection here, so i'll just copy and paste later. I am at the pub, just having a drink before i go home again. I needed to get away for a little while, Bulford is driving me nuts.
I found a brochure in Tesco, and guess what? Dylan Moran is coming to Salisbury! Dylan Moran, the Oscar Wilde of contemporary comedy and stand up! I really hope the tickets aren't sold out already, he's popular. If you haven't heard of him i recommend you to go on Youtube and check him out. He has a show called 'Monster' there, good quality, and a lot of other stuff.
He starred in the wonderfully dark sit com 'Black books', a DVD series worth buying, cos you just want to see it again and again.

Gee, i sound like his manager or something.... Ah well, i am a huge fan.

This weekend I'll have to choose between going camping or going to a beer/music festival... Don't know what i want yet! I really wanna go camping with the family and ex Hells Angels people, but i want to go to the festival as well.... Why, oh why does it have to be like this? I mean, week after week without anything happening, and then all of a sudden everything at once... Typical.

I bought Gossip girl on DVD today, a friend told me it was worth a look. I have to stop spending all my money on films and DVD box sets. I should save up for whatever the future holds in store for me. But i just can't be bothered.

Lately i have been daydreaming about Japan, i want to go there. I don't really know why other then that I'd love to learn Japanese. I mean, you can easily buy language cassettes, DVD's, CD rooms etc, but i want to learn the native language.
What you learn in school is rubbish, i can say that because i know what i am talking about. My English lessons in school were rubbish. Yeah, we learned how to read books and we learned all the grammar, but we did not learn a single phrase that they actually use in conversation here. The slang, the 'street language', if you catch my drift?

Nooo, i had to actually move here to learn that. So i figure I'll have to do the same thing if i want to learn real Japanese. And, of course i love anime^^

Did you know that the phrase 'long time no see' comes from Hong Kong? It's so called Chinglish, they speak a mix between Chinese and English there. I don't really know any more then that, but i can imagine it's quite like badly dubbed anime, with strange grammar and pronunciation. One of my friends is from there, and he makes it sound like a place I'd want to live, but Japan is even more alluring for some reason. It is strange, i don't know anyone from there other then a friends ex that i met once.
But one of my friends in London (the one with the ex)wants to move there, so I'm not the only fascinated one^^

Argh! I hate not having my laptop plugged in, i can't stop watching the battery go down and down and down. It's on 40 % now. The shop boy who sold it to me said the battery would last for three hours, but i knew that was bullshit, they always lie. Always.

Lately I've been avoiding all my friends here, and i don't quite know why.. I think I'm just sick of all the gossip and drama. I want friends with the same interests as me, art, literature, music and films. Intellectual people who can keep up in a conversation about things a bit deeper then what he said and what she did.. It makes me sick how sheltered and limited they are sometimes. I mean, i love them to bits, but i need people on my own wave length. With Julie, my best friend in Norway, i could talk for hours about 'what happens after you die, do you believe there is life on other planets' etc... I just can't do that with these people. I mean, i can, but it would just be me talking and them listening with half an ear and a polite expression on their faces...

I know i should call them and tell them that everything is alright and that I'm not really cross with them and still alive and well, but i don't have any credit on my phone and I'm far away from Tesco right now.. I'll do it tomorrow.

Lou, Ali's friend recommended the art center in Salisbury, she said i was more likely to find 'my kind of people' there. I'm not gonna ditch my old friends here, of course not, but i need other people as well. People i can do more then just getting drunk and go dancing with.

Meeting all the Heroes...

The way it looks now i get to meet Terry Pratchett, Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman. Not at the same time, but all of them in London. Terry is doing a signing at Waterstones on September the 13th, that made me immensely happy.
I saw him once, in Gloucester, and another time in Amesbury. He lives not very far away from me, and he is one of my idoles.. and i chickened out both times! The first time he even smiled at me, and he was alone and obviously not busy at all. I could have had a conversation with my hero, with one of the funniest and cleverest men in the U.K, maybe even the world.

And what did i do?

I smiled like the idiot i am and let him walk away... Sometimes i resent myself.
The other time i was on the bus, he was sitting outside the bus reading a book. He looked up and spotted me, and smiled again. Almost as if he recognized me, but that's probably wishful thinking on my part.

This time i'll meet him for real! But it's not the same, this is a signing, not out in the open. I'll be queuing for prob. 4-6 hours before i get 10 seconds with him..
My only hope now is him recognizing me as his accidental stalker, and say something in the lines of "Oh it's you!" Righttt....That's likely.

Neil is coming in October, on Halloween to be exact, and that queue will be sooo much longer. I mean, the man is a walking, talking legend... I'll probably stand there all night, with a sweaty copy of 'The graveyard book' clutched in my hand and a silly grin on my face.
All just for 10-15 seconds with my hero, my imaginary husband, the literary love of my life.

t's soo worth it though!

Dresden dolls is performing in October as well, the 10th methinks, at Koko in Camden. Good venue, good people. Can't wait! I am actually in contact with Amanda Palmer's assistent on lj, maybe if i'm lucky i'll get to go back stage with the band. That'd be amazing, i love those crazy people^^

I am seriously considering to try and write a book in English, i mean, why not.. I have a excellent dictionary program on this laptop (pretty, pretty thing), and i lack the three last letters in the Norwegian alphabet on the key board anyway.. So writing in Norwegian would just end up with me having to do A LOT of editing work later on..

And anyway, i want to live in the U.K, all the authors and artists i admire lives here.. I want to be a part of it. I mean, Norway is alright, but it's not exactly Mecca when it comes to publishing... Over here authors are cool people, in Norway i feel the impression people have of them is more... ignorant?

Love at first sight.

I went to Salisbury today, just to do something. Last night (Friday) i went out and met Bekky. She'd manage to fail all of her A levels, so she wasn't exactly happy.. But i met Lou and Graham as well though, Ali and Marks friends, they're funny people!

But back to today. I fell in love, it really was love at first sight. I stood outside of Curry's, minding my own business. Then i turned around and saw her. She was beautiful, tiny, white and with a personality you could feel all the way through the shop window.

I went inside and asked if i could touch her, and how much i would have to pay for her. 199 the man said, i was amazed. So i bought her. She's in bed with me right now, and she's never gonna leave me.

She is my new laptop.

She's so small, so tiny i can fit her into my very ladylike handbag, she's the size of a normal pocket book, and flat and lovely and shiny and and and... Gosh!

She is especially designed for traveling writers and journalists, everyone should have one. She's got wireless internet and 2 GB space, not much, but it's only meant for writing.

I don't need a man, i have her.

Scary, freaky lady!

I am dyeing my hair and eyebrows today, and nearly scared the living daylight out of the boys. I look like i am about to say 'I have come to this planet to destroy. Destroy. Destroy.' My eyebrows are BLACK and my hair looks like someone threw up in it and then tried to fix it again. The only reason i am writing so much about this, is because it is the only thing i can write about. The only thing i have to write about at all. But the day is young, and not every day can be an exciting adventure, right?

I wish...

Oh, I am reading a book about bizzare people throughout history, unexplainable persons. Like the Count of St. Germain, the immortal man.
And the real MIB, Men In Black. It's interesting, a book everyone should read. I bought it in Cardiff for only 3 pounds. Me luuuuv cheap books^^

I might go to The Alehouse tonight, it's thursday, band day!

Here's a picture of The Count.

The childrens book proposal.

I am talking with one of my old classmates now, and she wants to do a childrens book with me. It will have to wait until i am over and done with The Beast (current nickname).
I would absolutely love to do a book with her, she is an amazing illustrator. It's not clear yet, what the book will be about, but the working title is 'Det finnes ingen eventyr', translates into 'There's no such thing as fairytales.'

It's about imagination, magic and the power of stories. I like it, and i look forward to writing it, and i can't wait to see Veronica's illustrations!

Will write more later, right now i have to give it up to someone else.

Russian visit.

When i checked my emails this morning i had a message from a russian girl. She wants to see Stonehenge here in Wiltshire, and she want me to show it to her. I think that is a lovely idea, but i don't know if i have the time..
I am member of couchsurfing, a social network where you can get to know people from all over the world and visit them, stay with them for free. It's ingenious really, and nice to think that there still is enough trust in humankind out there for us to visit strangers we've met online in foreign countries^^

I have officially run out of excuses not to finish my book, what is wrong with me?? Why can't i just finish the bloody thing alright? It is finishd, kind of. But i still lack chapter titles, and i am reasearching for quotes and lyrics in the books and songs i like to put in the beginning of each chapter. And there's minor details (and some gigantic ones), that i want to add, delete and change. It's not gonna take me more then a day to do all this, not really... Buggeritall, today is that day!

I found a song on youtube, it's Amanda Palmer singing it, and Neil Gaiman who wrote it. It's about what people really do when they're home alone at night. It is called 'I google you'. Lol.


Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tBgzqlyzC4

It's still early, so i might write more later about my progress with The Ogre (my books petname changes daily)..

Back to the village.

Yesterday i went and took the train from Port Talbot to Cardiff, it was still raining. But i am born and bred in Norway, so didn't put me off in the slightest and i desided to take a walk around town.
I got lost of course, but that doesn't really matter. I mean, if you don't know where you're going then how can you be lost? Well, i can, but then i found Borders, a book/dvd/cd shop, and desided that this was were i was going all along, and that my sense of direction was brilliant. Denial, what a fine thing it is^^

So, i found Borders, walked up to browse the dvd section, and it felt like i'd walked up the stairway to heaven. On a shelf in the middle of the room i found all the films that has ever been made by Studio Ghibli, and that's something you don't see every day. You might not have heard of them, but have you ever seen 'Howl's moving castle?' Also a brilliant book by Diana Wynne Jones i might add Or 'Spirited away,' which in Norway has the title 'Chihiro og heksene.' Those two films are both Studio Ghibli, and directed by the formidable Hayao Miyazaki.
Check it out, seriously: http://www.onlineghibli.com/


And i also took the liberty of 'borrowing' a link from Neil Gaiman's blog, to a very funny news story: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/aug/08/usa
About a very strange, obsessed cheerleader..

Well, anyway i bought three films, it was all i could afford (i had to go hungry for the rest of the journey, but it was worth it). Yesterday i saw the first one, 'Tales from Earthsea,' and realised that i've actually read the book behind the film several years ago. Brilliant, because the film is a perfect adaption, the author couldn't have done a better job herself (her name is Ursula K. Le Guin, and she's verrry good).

A picture of prince Arren, the

main character in 'Earthsea'.

So here i am, back in Bulford, restless and in the i want adventure-and-campfire-feelings-it-is-summer-for-god's-sake mood, but i have to be patient, nothing happens this week.

That is, unless i make something happen... Nah, i've got to read through my book one more time, add chapter titles and fix Everything. The poor beta readers are waiting for me to email it to them, a feel guilty as a dog with his head in the bin, but i refuse to send out something that isn't readable. So if any of my readers read this, i do apologize.. I will send it to you, and it will be worth the wait. Promise.

From Wales with love!

This will be a very short post, i am currently sitting on a bed with a very old keyboard on my lap. It's raining outside, so going out tonight isn't exactly tempting.. But we might go to a pub. Might. It is seriously wet. Like a shower or a waterfall, or just a bucket being turned upside down over your head. And it's windy.

I got treated like a tourist on the train to Cardiff though, that was fun! I fell asleep and must have seemed very confused when the conductor woke me up, because when he gave me my change back, he held up a five pund note and said very clearly (but still very welsh): This is a five pound note.
Then he did the same with the rest of my change, it was sweet really^^ I think i might go out for a cigarette now, if that is possible without drowning.. I am just waiting for Alex to come back, he is playing taxi driver for his sister, so he's going to Swansea. Should be back soon though.

I'm not going to write much more today, but i'll give you a proper update when i get back to Wiltshire. And i'm still waiting for the photos my friend took, maybe she sent them today? Have to check my email.

I am also stealing all of Alex's music, feeding my ipod with new rythms (what a stupid thing to write). So if i stumble over something really cool, i'll be sure to mention it here.

Last thing before i go. I got my Dresden Dolls t shirt on friday, it's nice and cool and black and silver, i am wearing it now. Waiting for my Scary trousers t shirt now, i might be there already, i wouldn't know, i'm in Wales. And it's raining.

After the coffee kicked in..

I realised that i forgot to write down the drummers Myspace, and that it would be a shame not to mention it. www.myspace.com/joolsowenmusic so there.

I got the book i was waiting for by the way, Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. Brilliant vampire books, like Anne Rice without all the homoerotical undertones.

I shall take my leave, i have books to read, and miles to go before i sleep.. etc

Chicken and waffles.

Here's a newly uploaded picture from that night:
The title comes from an email my brother sent me this morning, it has nothing to do with anything at all. His brain, i assume, would be a scary place to visit.
When i woke up this morning it was a quarter past six and i felt funny. Not ha ha funny, more headache, empty stomach, dizzy funny. And that's just embarrassing, i had three pints last night, and i want to bed at 1.am.. How old am i? 43?

Anyways, last night was good fun, i met some interesting people and that's always nice. Every thursday they have live music in The Alehouse in Salisbury, and the band playing yesterday was great! Sometimes you get these horrible cover bands featuring 50 year olds with reasonable good voices and a bitter aftertaste of broken dreams (aww, she's being creative again), and that's ok, but it was nice to hear some real talent.

www.myspace.com/lucky7 is where they live on the interweb, you should go visit them, they're worth it^^

After the consert we got to know the drummer, he has his own Myspace too. I haven't checked it out yet, but i will in a minute.. Wait for it.. Ok, wow, i'm listening to him now, and he's really good!

I love meeting talented people, i have a secret hope tht they will rub off some of their talent on me. This far no luck though, instruments still looks embarrassed and uncomfortable everytime i look at them, and i am starting to think that i actually will have to make an effort if i want to be able to play them. Insufferable it is!

Another brilliant musician i met yesterday was this bloke: www.myspace.com/dickondrurymusic his music was just the perfect way to start this morning, or any morning really.

I might or i might not go to Wales this afternoon, it all comes down to the lazy bastard i'm supposed to visit, who sent me a 'good night, i'm going to bed now' text this morning. So if he's awake when i finish work i might still go. If he's not, well that's his loss. I can be quite entertaining sometimes. I think.

I am waiting for my friend to email me pictures from last night, i'll post them when i get them. She has a verrry expensive, fancy camera, so everyone looks amazing in them. Well, everyone always looks amazing in black and white.

And i am waiting impatiently for the book i ordered, it should be here today. Can't wait!

Jeez i'm such a nerd.

First post.

Hello and welcome to my blog.

This will be a very short post, written mostly to see how it all works. I shall return tomorrow, hopefully with something a bit more entertaining^^

Toodles.