Chocolate angst.

I am trying to watch Love Actually, but the adverts keeps on interrupting it. It is really very annoying as it is one of my favorite films. There is just something about it that makes me think that everything will be alright in the end. In life that is, not in the film. That goes without saying.

And it has Colin Firth in it.

It is that time of the year again, time to start thinking about my weight, my hair, my skin... The whole package you know. There is never a pattern, but the urge comes at least twice a year, the 'i really need to reinvent myself to be happy' thing, i'm sure you've had it yourself, don't deny it.

And i have a feeling that if i didn't get this urge i would almost certainly have been a unattractive person with a lot of too small clothes and a pile of sensible underthings. And i would definitely have been one of those round people.

So i am on a diet. Again. It is utterly boring, especially considering the festive eating mayhem that Christmas is. But i shall be a good girl so i can be skinny and fit into all my nice dresses soon.

Oh, and skinny people don't sweat so much. I therefore think it is very clever of me to lose weight before going to Africa. Africa is supposed to be quite hot, or so i've heard.

I wonder if they have nice yogurt there, i love a good yogurt.


Yesterday night i couldn't sleep, so i read through some old notebooks, six years old they are. I was a funny little fucker when i was fifteen! I actually found the predraft to the first-first draft to my book, back when it was more of an idea then an actual story. Some good stuff, some bad and some of it just stuff i will, at some point, bring out into the woods during a vaning moon on a Thursday night and burn.

And now back to watching the film, hoping that, somewhere out there...