What did i do to deserve this??

It's official, i FUCKING HATE MYSELF!!!

I, stupid as i am, decided to save some money by not going to the Dresden Dolls concert, because i wanted to go and see Neil Gaiman instead. Well, guess what? Guess who was at the concert i deliberately missed yesterday?

Yeah, that's right, NEIL FRIKKIN' GAIMAN!!! He did the introduction and was a back up singer and tambourine player, and apparently the concert was brilliant, they played 'I google you'...

This is just one of those things that i am going to regret for the rest of my life.
I have to get away from this village life, it is slowly turning me into a narrow minded, boring person who actually worry about trivial things like economy and a smelly garden (long story).

I need to DO something with my life, this was really a wake up call, i have to stop saying no to things. In a twisted and bizarre way me missing out on the concert of a lifetime might have been a good thing. It made me realize how much i have been missing out on things. It makes me feel like I'm just wasting away here in my room with my bloody laptop with my bloody book (this is one of my 'i hate my writing' days)...

I need to move, and i need to move to a big city where stuff happens, where i can actually do exciting things and be a part of things that holds an interest to me, not just reading about it on another persons blog the next day.

I am really pissed off now. Really pissed off.

Lately it seems like i have been going through life just meeting the wrong people in the wrong places at the wrong time.

I think i need to take a long, calming walk to the graveyard and back. I need to listen to Ben Folds and come to terms with being left hanging on the outside looking in on everything exciting without being able to participate.

And today i really don't need a hug. I hate people today.

Goodbye cruel world.

Ps, look at this brilliant home video of Amanda in her underwear, serenading Neil and playing her ukulele:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcHqg_AXeqA

Saturday morning.

I know what you're thinking, unoriginal title right? Wrong! It's actually a song by Eels, i am listening to it right now, and it is Saturday morning. So there.

Anyway, I've lost my cable, but what else is new? So I'll look for it when i get the feeling back in my legs, and then I'll post some pictures from yesterday. I had a good time, but i shall never drink again, it is simply not worth it. Honestly, it feels like Cirque du Soleil is performing on my forehead.
Oh, found cable. Here are pictures from yesterday:



Me and Iain, one of the nicest guys i've ever met^^



Iain and Josh.



A lot of people.



Iain, Josh and me^^



A balloon. indeed.




I phoned Julie in Russia yesterday, but ran out of calling credit after a few minutes. It was lovely to hear her voice though, but felt weirder then ever to speak in Norwegian. I just can't seem to find the right words anymore.
So instead of sounding like the intellectual i normally sound like when i speak, i end up sounding like a stuttering preschooler with pigtails and a cat named Rainbow. Or something. You know what i mean.

I woke up with the sudden urge to write Haiku, so i did and it is terrible!

I cannot feel my legs
Yet.

My head really hurts
Yep.

The cat is breathing
Loudly.

I feel like dancing yeah
Right.


I don't know if i want to go to London next weekend or not. I want to see Dresden Dolls, sure, but the only person offering to come with me this far is a 69 year old hippie. Which is cool, but i don't have anywhere to stay. I know people in London, but i don't want to stay with them, and the rest of them live with their parents, so...
Ah well, i shall have to wait and see. I am definitely going on Hallows eve though, meeting Neil Gaiman is not an opportunity that presents itself every day, or year for that matter.


My coffee is cold
Again.

So I'll just go and make another one.

Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei!